Today. Life showed up. While running in the foggy cool Kansas morning, I wanted to go home and curl up with the feels that sweep over about this time each year. It’s my brother, Pat’s, birthday. He hasn’t been around to enjoy it since 1986. Dammit Cancer. And it is also Madi and Z’s international … More Not a trial run.
I didn’t realize it was grief. I knew it was painful. I realized it was necessary. I worked to make it transformative; the endings which signal unwanted beginnings. I’ve wondered why a walk into a sunny blue-sky spring day could rip the air from my lungs. Or a twinge of pain still sears my chest when passing … More I didn’t realize it was grief
Tuesday, I discovered again how important having space and time to grieve is when the world tips over. We want to rush and feel better. Any better. The fella and I – still solid friends (as wearisome and clichéd as that may sound) – parted to make space for grief to do its work in healing. This has … More evening passed and morning came…
Failure and freedom: I wrote of this Monday – cheekily mentioning about not staying in heartbreak hotel. How prescient. Tuesday evening, I cried with the fella as we watched our hearts break in a good hard decision towards focusing on shoring up a family and a future. The grief – the weight of the loss – is real. … More Young at heart
Autumn has begun its final approach to the Flint Hills. Cooler weather signals relief from the scorching summer sun and wilting humidity. A change is in the wind. It also means soon the grass will be veiled in its wintry brown and flowers will have faded with the splash park days. Football-weather breezes and pumpkin lattes arrive as … More What remains