so much to say

20191019_1458185621263346520345959.jpgso much to say.
or so i thought.

lately i’ve been listening
more and more
to the people closest
and furthest away

to the clatter of hoofbeats
the yapping heads
the wailing of desert orphans
the guns of war

sweet sounds of new babies as they pass through the office in their mum and dads’ arms

music
wind
laughter
story
crackling of the fire and
overcoming.

There is so much reflected 
in the everyday ordinary life
if we are quiet enough – for a moment – to listen.

i have wanted to be quiet and get my work done
or think differently
or not fall asleep during savasana

to be acquainted with stillness
reacquainted with patience
quieter so as to not miss what folks were saying or unable to say.

to be vigilant with my thoughts, heart and time.

and as the listening days have woven into weeks, i realized that being quiet was my best offering for now. my kindest – most elucidating contribution – has been to lean toward quiet.

i would not say that i know more or understand more or have gobs of more peace, but i have found practical pathways to where peace sometimes resides … breadcrumbs to follow when i wake in the night afraid because something is just. too. good.

instead of having to have answers, in the quiet i have more questions and more space/time to listen to others and to my own goodish heart. more time to pay attention to the wonderpup as she navigates every tree, twig, blade of grass and smell. more time to be aware of people i know or thought i knew.

more time to restore in solitude and parse out what is loneliness and what is fear of missing out. even in a longish season of so much to do, the quiet has been present –
a soft place to land at the end of the day.

so Friends … pals, i will listen. i will share my quiet
and snorty laugh
and wonder with you.
or my space if that is what you really need or want.

and hope that my best self will be offered to you in this quiet and in time
and in rousing rambunctious laughter
of everyday ordinary life.

you deserve a place of rest
and even though i am full of energy
i – too – desire rest.

come on over.
i will listen.
or as my friend, Martin C. says and lives,

i will make time for you.

 


3 thoughts on “so much to say

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