In yoga, folks talk about making space. We make space on our mats for our imperfections and triumphs and disappointments. Weariness and strength.
The ego doesn’t have much space allotted to the real estate of yoga mats, though mine still shows up right before I do the yoga equivalent of “hold my beer.”
About Father’s Day, my heart — my thoughts — began to feel empty. Nothing untoward had happened and no great drama. I had just purchased a nifty car, a conveyance that was worth the waiting, researching and saving for. I approached my 52nd birthday, I missed my dad and brother; I missed the kids and eventually realized I missed people and points in time. A little grief for what has been lost. A little missing faces and places. A borrowed bike with an obnoxious bell ringing in the Colorado mountains.
I fought hard to remember the many many lovelies that I’ve gained — some hard-earned and some given as graces like shade on a white hot summer prairie day. This list of sweetnesses gained is mostly people. The list of losses is almost entirely related to people, too.
An embarrassment of riches and a sense it is time to change the game
If Jeff Goldblum is right (and of course he is) then “life finds a way.” Life finds a way to force us to decide to grow up or grow mold. Face the challenges ahead or sit in the mediocrity.
Life finds a way of inviting us into a next step, transformation, thoughts, apology and every kind of sh*t-or-get-off-the-pot way to strengthen us and make our life-muscles more supple and flexible … our breath more healing and intentional. Like yoga.
And it’s supposedly good for us. This making space and stretching and challenge. An embarrassment of simple riches.
Last week when Izzy had gotten into something, I listened to Viktor Frankl’s Man’s search for meaning which led to a deep dive into researching resilience. I was reminded that people step up to the challenges as presented or step out of the game. We assume different paces, but we either move forward or quit playing.
So in this continued season of not knowing much of anything that lies ahead and of making space to grieve and laugh and be goofy in good company, I’m purposing to accept the challenges and the help that is offered when it is offered. And make space in my thoughts, heart and life. Clear out where remnants of fear and insecurity had taken root and stolen ground.
I will continue to mosey my way forward since forward movement is the one thing I know to do and momentum helps me stay upright on my mat.
I will continue to make space. Be quiet. Bend and curl into the child’s pose. Stretch into the warrior poses as needed. Stand like a tree, rooted to rise.
Wait while walking forward into a not-yet-known. Be present and see what comes alive in the space that has been made.
And hopefully, I’ll make it to a sweet space in Colorado that was offered by an equally sweet and adventurous friend.