Soon, my route to the office will take a few more twists and turns to the far end of Purpleville.
I am excited. And at peace.
Wrapping up the work here has been fairly anticlimactic; we’ve done a great job of organizing, hiring, trusting, exhibiting, documenting, training, and learning alongside one another.
It is a bittersweet task to close this story-within-a-story.
Next week, I will be in the thick of a new thing; learning, grappling, meeting people, and hanging on with both hands as the fuel of this next adventure catches light and I launch.
I want to serve well. To see people, help tell the stories which invite engagement, connect story to mission, and hone the craft.
In the interim, I am making checklists for myself and the students – colleagues – to attend.
Most of the work is done. This is a rare moment of wrapping things up. As long as projects and plans are made, we have work to do. We exchange access, information, and goodbyes now. I trust the team to close ranks and get the work done.
They are each leaders – though young – and happily follow the effervescence of the director. They make a good team.
At home are more checklists as I continue to streamline my physical space to accommodate grad school realities and the welcomed new job.
I found an ironing board (Thanks Jane!).
Caught up on all of my paperwork and personal planning.
Made a few meals for the freezer.
There is something missing. A “not yet” which will not make my written lists. I’ve felt the loneliness after each week’s class when my thoughts are fired up and imagination ignited…and no one with whom to debrief. Not yet.
This heart space has given me room to wrestle with another reality, “I am enough as is.” All quirkily intact.
There are no checklists for resting in one’s own shadow. If there were, no one would want to copy my list:
- encounter the worst of humanity
- shatter completely
- ask for help to reset the old breaks of many years
- realize I am the one I’ve been waiting on
- heal and grow far past the recent beginnings
- move along
Thank you to the lists of people who have walked with me – are walking with me – as I clear the last of these lists. Your derring do has helped to make me brave.