Yes to the Mess

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What I saw on my Sunday sneezy bike ride.

Yes.

Yes to “want to meet us at the park?”
Yes to “want to join us for supper?”
Yes to “I’ve got a fire and a beer. Come on over.”

I’ve been saying yes lately to heaps of good things – easily identifiable ‘good things.’

Yesterday, I said yes to a few messy things:

tears
not-knowing
jumping-script on how to appear cool & unaffected…adult(?)

This was between saying yes to a humid walk
a sneezy bike ride
and yoga.

Friday, my friend dropped off a red chair and rug she was moving from her life to mine. While lugging up the chair bits, she asked if she could see my tiny house.

Stammer. Stammer. The dishes hadn’t been done in a few mornings, research was sprawled and dripped from flat surfaces, and the bed was as I’d left it that hopeful morning.

Not my finest “Hi, how do you do?”.
But I said, Yes.

I said yes in the mess to this lovely and unjudging friend. She was enthusiastic about my tiny home and shared my straight-from-Germany-bread before she left.

Not once did she wrinkle her nose. Of course not. I don’t have friends who would. She spoke life and kindness over me as I led her through the circuit which is the layout of my attic apartment.

I was so glad I said yes to my friend
so glad to say yes in the middle of the mess
to be vulnerable
exposed in my many imperfections
and loved…right there by the pile of dishes. 

Later, I made a messy phone call
Off script from “be cool” to open, messy, and honest.

Sunday was all
Say yes to the feels
and the new reality.
Speak truth and life
Celebrate the hard good forward movement of another
and myself.

Now, my apartment is mostly tidy
All but two of my 20+ items have been checked off the weekend to-do list
The AC may still be broken
We have a City-wide boil order for water (we have excellent water and I will not complain)
And I get to break bread with my Monday meal friends.

When uncertainty plows me over
Tears come in the quiet
and the old ways don’t bring new comfort,

I’ll say yes in the mess.

Yes to the vegetables from the weed-threatened garden of my Mimi.
Yes to time in good company
Yes to not knowing and the quiet
Yes to living this life as fully as possible
Tears, mess, dishes and all.

I may say “no” or “I had ice cream for breakfast after my walk and before I took off on my bike”, but hit me up again.

Life is too short to try to be perfect and too long to pretend.
Join me in the messy derring do of living as is
in what is today
While putting feet on the path to what may or may not be waiting ahead.

Yes. 

Yes” from Meet Joe Blackhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHLDQclQT8wMeet Joe Black is one of the movies I regularly consider. It has an incredible soundtrack and a story worth watching. 

 

 

 


One thought on “Yes to the Mess

  1. Allie, I am so glad you said yes. Sometimes getting out of our security, our need to crawl into ourselves, we never realize what the impact of yes might mean.
    Say yes, say later….

    I Love You so much Allie.

    Liked by 1 person

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