Moments of Quiet

single spark squareThe smoke and crash-booms have blown past these green Flint Hills.

Bunnies have returned to the lot behind the Hobbit House.

The birds have returned to their nests. 

What was an unexpected, boisterous, rich-in-people-and-goofiness celebration weekend has returned to a quiet life.

Saturday afternoon, both kids stood at my door and I cried. Such sweet surprises make the merry chaos of the 4th of July weekend easier to navigate and enjoy.

What was once endeavored – the moments of quiet after another Firecrackery 4th – becomes a reminder of the empty spaces in the nest…necessary empty spaces.

I am so glad they flew in and drove up.
My heart “bursted”.
We missed Z and the giant pup.
Time was short and we worked to keep their visit a surprise until they met up with and surprised their dad.
And though their independence and good healthy life is the goal,
they leave joy-filled shadows and echoes behind.

Small smile-making sparks of memory.
Morning moments playing cards with one while the other slept.
Coffee. Friends. Good food. Pigeons swooping above the Chef.
A trampoline and a week’s-worth of new chickens in the yard.
Laughter.
Tears.
Fighting for blankets as has always been when sharing a sleeping spot with M.

Though we missed the company of family and a fella, my heart is full.
An easy smile of remembering.

It is no easy thing to be a parent; to cast your heart to the wind and chase after its pieces as they toddle then fly into the morning. For a very long time, I believed I’d never know what it means to be a parent. And then I became a parent (x 2).

And it has made all of the difference.
Every decision for our family; worth it.
Each failure somehow redeemed as time writes a gentler history of a tired mum with no clue how to parent.
Small momentary wins of a time now featured in the highlight reel of our narrative.

These moments of quiet could become sad ones if I allow. Instead, I’ll keep grinning-grateful for the moments of joyful goofiness with the two humans who taught me to grow and let go. Derring Do required.

 


4 thoughts on “Moments of Quiet

  1. I love this sentence especially, “It is no easy thing to be a parent; to cast your heart to the wind and chase after its pieces as they toddle then fly into the morning.”

    Like

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